My Christmas

It's been way too long....

I guess you could say that I don't yet have it all together. I really thought that I would have the time to blog this holiday but as you know, I didn't. I was so busy... I was everywhere, everywhere except next to a computer. Christmas time is always such a beautiful time of year, especially now that I have children. It's so magical and real. I can say that I live through them... I live through their eyes, their happiness, their awe..

I don't know where to begin. There is so much I want to say. I first want to say that I hope everyone who reads this had a wonderful holiday. I hope this Christmas brought smiles, warmth, peace & happiness to each & every one of you. It sure did in my family! This was one of the best Christmas' yet!


To me, this year was very meaningful. Not that other years weren't but this year was 'thankful'. I actually could scream right now, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" My brother-in-laws best friend was in a terrible car accident.


On December 11, 2010, Derek, my brother in law let his best friend, Larry Carter drive his truck. Larry dropped Derek off & continued down the road. Larry fell asleep at the wheel. He crashed the truck. Nobody knows how long he was laying outside in the freezing cold before someone found him and called the police. He was airlifted to a Fairfax INOVA hospital. He immediately went into surgery. The doctors came out & told his family & friends that Larry is paralyzed from the neck down. Since then Larry has been making progress. He has pain in his arms. The doctors say this is good. His father has tickled his feet and hands and Larry has flinched. Larry has shrugged his shoulders. I believe in miracles. We believe in miracles. I believe that God can heal anything so we pray & pray. God will work this out. He will bring him through. 


So this Christmas while I was with my family, I thought about Larry and his family. I thought about what they were doing. I thought about how his mother was feeling. I thought about his father. I thought about how life is so unpredictable. All of this while I sit and watch my three children laugh, smile & share Christmas joy with each other. I'm thankful! So thankful! Please send your prayers up for Larry Carter. I would write more about this story but I can't. I can barely see out of my tear filled eyes. 


Moving on....


This year was the first time in 3 years that we got to spend Christmas Eve with my Dad. It was awesome! It was so wonderful to see family that we hadn't seen in so long. Jordan talked about it for the week prior to going over there. He calls my Dad, Pops. "We're gonna have so much fun with Pops." he said. "I can't wait! We're gonna play, and talk, and eat and play." :)

Matt, Dad, Chris, Dycen yawning :) and me!

Trying to climb up my leg

special moments with pops

The cupcakes we made to bring & share!

Loving the piano

Needless to say, Jordan didn't leave his side. He was in his glory. That right there made my Christmas. Nothing else had to happen. Nothing else good needed to come of this holiday. I had my wish. My wish came true... Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 


The boys woke up early Christmas morning to find that Santa did come. They were beyond excited! A funny little note I can't leave out. My almost 9 month old who NEVER sleeps in, slept through the whole sha-bang! I was going to wake him because this was his first Christmas but momma never wakes a sleeping baby. Not even for Christmas morning! There is always next year....

Santa brought Dycen's stocking!

Well look who woke up!?!

Yes, there are presents for you!

Christmas morning is spent with Demond's family. We all gather at the church and have breakfast. It's always the best breakfast of the year! Demond has 4 brothers and 1 sister. I think the total count is  24 including his mom and dad. We're a big group and that's a whole lotta love!!! 


Christmas breakfast consisted of an innocent game of 21, 2 hand touch football that sometimes turned into tackle and great conversations with my 4 sister in laws. 

My sister in laws!

A game of 21

Aunt Danielle's gift to all the nephews! Go Tech!

Dee Dee & Grandaddy with all the Grandkids!

All of us! Now that's a beautiful thing!

After Christmas breakfast we head right to my moms house. Talk about an exhausting day! The way I look at it is, we're so thankful that we are able to see EVERYONE on Christmas. Exhausting but worth it!


Like I said, this Christmas was meaningful. When we arrived at my moms, something was missing. Where was Chris and Juli?? Isaac, my 11 month nephew had been there a couple hours before throwing up & had a fever of 104. Chris decided to take him to the ER. They ended up having to stay there over night. Doctors said that it was the beginning signs of pneumonia. 


It was weird without Chris and his family there. I didn't like it. I missed seeing him open our gifts. It was quieter than normal. I missed my nephew. I just wanted him better! We worried all day about Isaac, fortunately, everything worked out and he was released the next day. It's always so scary, the word hospital, especially being so young.

Christmas is great! But I'm glad it's over....

LOVE

Grandma's are the best!

Loved her canvas!

Dycen's toy was a hit!

So Christmas has come & gone already. I am tired, happy, thankful & blessed!

I'm gonna enjoy this glass of wine & hit the sheets!

oxox, jess 

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues."

I've made it to my favorite spot. It's quiet but I'm not alone. Dominic is curled up on my left side with his head rested on my shoulder. He doesn't feel good. (And this isn't because his brother just slammed him on his back while playing a friendly game of football- in the house!) I'll type a little bit then rub his head, twisting his hair through my fingers, he loves that. He really loves his momma when he doesn't feel good. Actually, they all do. I haven't even got through this paragraph & my left side is already numb. It doesn't matter,  he's finally comfortable.

I would definitely have to say today was a 'blah' day. We have the nasty cough, cold, yuckiness cloud over our home right now. I ran out of Lysol earlier & when Demond stopped at the store to pick up a few things, of course that cloud was present & I forgot to tell him to pick a can up. Tomorrow I'll get one and continue my trigger happiness.


Dycen has become that 2 month old baby again, the one I've already forgotten about. He wants me to hold him. Not just hold him on my hip but hold his body close, very close against my chest with my hand on his head singing my famous.... "doooo do dooooo, doooo do doooo." Which still gets Jordan, he'll hear that and ask me to stop because it makes him tired. 

I hate to see my children sick, but I can't help but to love having my baby back on my chest. The peacefulness that it brings me is unspeakable. Its the true bond between a mother & child. When I think about it, it almost makes me sad. Dycen probably will be my last baby & to see how fast they grow, I'm cherishing every moment, for real this time.

I'm definitely not myself either. I ate an overwhelming amount of cough drops, popped medicine & vitamins trying to get ahead of this funk. I've got places to go & people to see, a wedding and the Redskins Game this weekend. No time for anyone to be feeling under the weather, especially me!


Our day ended with tackle football in the family room. I couldn't help but to think "wow, this never would have been ok with my mom!" 


I love seeing the way they look at their father. The acceptance that they want from him. The laughs & definitely the cries that he makes better. 

I love watching Demond try to be fair and give them both the same and equal amount of attention. All while Jordan is hanging from his leg and Dominic is hanging from his back trying to strip the ball away.


Dominics' stiff arm to Jordan & then ducking around the kitchen table for a touchdown was the highlight of the night! It sent Jordan into attack mode. Jordan slammed Dominic on his back and then came the tears and then of course, came bed time. 


My life is, believe it or not exactly what I envisioned it to be. I always thought I would have boys. I always pictured myself in the middle of the family room wrestling with my kids. 

It's for me a 'full circle' moment. I remember my dad with my brothers and I, and now I sit here and watch it happen in my own world. 

I don't know if I deserve all this. I do know that there isn't a day that goes by I don't sit back & want to weep to my knees and give thanks for everything I have.

Be thankful.

Good night & God Bless



oxox, jess

Its cold & I don't like it!

Winter is here. I don't like it! I don't like the cold air. I don't like that my kids are becoming the disgusting little kids with snot running down their faces. Ugh! Winter.. I hate being cold.

Dominic told me yesterday that I should tell him when its nice outside so he could go play. I told him that it wasn't going to be nice for a long time. He shrugged and said with no hesitation, "let's go to the beach then!" Haha! I wish... 


Don't get me wrong I love the holidays but the frigid air is not for me. As a mother, for me, it's hard in the winter time. My kids live outside when the weather is nice and that's basically all year except 3 months. Those 3 months start now. It's hard to keep them occupied inside. They don't watch movies and aren't into playing video games and Spongebob can only be on for so long before I feel like my brain is turning into a pineapple in the sea. 


These are the months where the creativity in me really has to come out. I have been on the internet a lot lately trying to find new crafts, recipes & games that we can play. We recently got a new printer on Black Friday. It really has come in handy lately. I printed out almost every NFL team helmet & let the boys go to town coloring them. That was awesome! A hour & a half of pure helmet coloring bliss!

These are the months when my fuse HAS to be a bit longer than normal. The arguing & fighting definitely will become more. The picking on each other has gotten worse. Dominic doesn't let stuff slide anymore. He now stands up for himself and gives Jordan a run for his money. I like it but that just means more work for me- more discipline. I'm not complaining but those are the moments when I'd like to say, "take it outside!"

These are the months that truly test me as a mother. I mean everyday is a test but these months seem to be a little harder, at least in my world.

Any ideas of things to do with my little men on the cold blustery days would be appreciated. Websites? Crafts? 


Thank ya, have a great day!


oxox, jess

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

I finally made it out from underneath my laundry mountain. Whew! Not having a washer & dryer for 9 days is completely ludicrous. I counted 12 loads & we still had more to go. It feels so good to have everyone's dresser full... for now.

Today we went to a small, quiet orchard about 20 minutes from our home & cut down our Christmas Tree.

Hank's Christmas Trees & Corn Maze was tucked away off a dirt road. It was awesome! Kid friendly & such great people! We always get a real tree but this year is the first year we went & cut it down ourselves. Haha.. lemme rephrase that, Demond did the cutting I did the, "over to the left, over to the right, no, I like this one, oh wait.... look at that one over there!" He was very patient, he always is. The boys on the other hand, not so much. The first tree they spotted was good for them, 12 feet high, half dead on one side and the other well there was just one side. 

Ok Mom, I'm cold & ready to go home....

We broke out the Christmas decorations & began decking the halls. Half way through decorating Jordan requested Buffalo Wings. I threw some wings on the stove and went back and fourth between trying to show them that not all the ornaments needed to be in the same spot & stirred the wings.

Every year Christmas seems to get more exciting. Jordan & Dominic truly 'get it'. 

I love seeing their faces light up. 
I love their little conversations about Christmas, Santa & snow.
I love the togetherness we have for that solid 30 minutes. EVERYONE is all about it, no distractions. I say this because I know there will be a time that I probably will be the only one decorating the tree. 
I love looking at old ornaments.
& best of all, I love that we went from 4 stockings to 5 :)

 

 Our Tree 2010

A few simple decorations...

 

I hope yall had a great weekend! Oh, I almost forgot.... my sweet baby is 8 months old today! Love you Dycen Carter :)

 oxox, jess

 

 

The show must go on....

I didn't feel so great today. I woke up with the shakes & felt nauseous . But either way.... the show must go on.

I called my mom at work..... to whine. How silly is that? What could she do for me? I guess just hearing her voice, telling me to drink ginger ale and relax is what I wanted to hear. Is it just me or do lots of people want their mom when they're sick? I sure do and I'm almost 30. 

As the day went on I began to feel better. Weak but at least I wasn't vommiting like I had been. I've actually gotten good at being sick & taking care of my kids. Sounds crazy but I really think that it's something you've got to practice. 

Dominic really helped me alot today. I mean, as much as a 3 year old can and for as long as a 3 year old can. He played with Dycen, changing his toys out every few minutes so he would stay occupied. He blocked the the couch so Dycen couldn't see it, to try to hang on it. I layed down on the floor next to them... not very comfortable but it was the best situation and I was thankful.


That lasted maybe 30 minutes, maybe. Dominic was futsing in the corner for a little while, when all of a sudden he comes running in with his kite, holding it up as high as he can. He ran in circles, ran around the table, ran through the kitchen. Somehow thinking the kite would just all of a sudden take off in thin air. Wishful thinking son.. please just sit down. Ha! Not a chance.... he was on a mission. 


Dycen got away from his mountain of toys and teething rings just to find him sticking his fingers in one of the electric sockets. My time of rest was over... 


I made porkchops for dinner. Didn't really have a game plan but as soon as Demond walked in the door, I handed him the baby & got to work. I cut up onions & green peppers, salt & pepper, italian dressing & who knows what else I put in there... it smelled good & I was using the stuff that needed to be used. 


All I remember was making up songs so Dominic & Jordan would eat their entire plate of food. I was giving high-fives & getting crazy looks from Demond. I was acting crazy.... I told them I would get up on the table and dance if they both finished their plate. They started scarffing their food down when Demond chimed in... "you know the table will break." Everyone went silent and stopped eating. Really? I'm thinking... Really?? We were on a roll... I began to sing again and by the end of my hoopla they both had clean plates... woooohoooo- the things we do!!! 


As hard as it sometimes feels.... it's nothing that I can't handle. I love every moment, even though I may not like it at that time. 

I'm realizing that I blog now,  not just to share my life but to know what I'm thinking. 


oxox,  jess

I stood up to racism, I hope you do the same.

55 years ago today the wonderful Rosa Parks decided she wasn't getting out of her seat on that bus. 

Just writing that sends chills through my bones. 

What a strong, independent, iconic woman! Thank you for breaking down the barriers, Miss Rosa Parks! Times have changed & I'm so glad I'm alive to see the change.

Unfortunately everyone hasn't changed and there are still some very ignorant people out there! And I'm being nice saying that. It's definitely not what I want to say or the choice of words I could use. This subject weighs extremely heavy on my heart, if you didn't know I'm sure you will by the end of this blog.

Last night was going well.... the restaurant wasn't very busy but I had almost a full bar. I'll take that any Tuesday night actually any night at all! I noticed three gentlemen waiting to get a seat. I called them gentlemen but come to find out they were the furthest thing from that.

I had a couple seats open and politely asked one of my regulars to scoot down so they could have three seats next to each other. He obliged. 

Alex, Brad and Bryan sat down & immediately began talking to me. I was my friendly, inviting self and got them menus and drinks. I was glad they decided to sit with me. 

Each of them had on business attire. They actually looked like something out of a polo magazine. They talked about working in Northern Virginia. They spoke like they had an education. Alex actually mentioned how he played football & won some conference championship. Showing me his ring.


When I'm working I'm always aware of everything going on around me. If I'm at one end of the bar talking with guests, I can assure you I can tell you what's going on at the other end. I guess that comes with experience... I don't know but in this case I wish I didn't hear a word.


I began to listen to their conversation while wiping down the other end of the bar. They were talking about how someone had come onto their property, referring to that person as the 'N' word. Alex said he has 345 acres and someone had stepped over on his land when they were hunting. He was angry and throwing around that terrible, degrading, disrespectful word like it was his job. This went on for at least 4 or 5 minutes. N this N that... N this N that....


I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was so upset. I know my face was red. I felt like I was going to pass out. You don't use that word!! I wanted to stomp down there and tell them exactly how I felt. I should have, I wanted to but I didn't. I didn't say a word. For now.... 


I couldn't concentrate on anything I was doing. People were asking me questions and I saw there mouth move but couldn't hear anything. I was in another world. This consumed me. I had to get it together for my other guests... I did.


Their food came out and I walked by.... I didn't say a word. Alex stopped me in the middle of eating & and asked if I was from around here. I told him I wasn't. I said that I met my husband in college and this is where he is from. He then proceeded to tell me that he was born and raised here & graduated from the same High School as Demond. He told me what year he graduated and I thought this was my perfect in..... I replied with... "Oh, you must know my brother-in-law." I said his name... He thought about it and without any hesitation he said... "He's black." I glared at him in complete and utter disgust. "Of course he is!" I said. "And so is my husband and my 3 beautiful children!" 


He looked at me in shock. Why? I have no idea. I then told him how I felt. I told him exactly what I wanted him to hear... in the most professional, respectful way possible... (even though I wanted to jump across the bar and spit in his face, sorry but at this point I was in tears.)

"I heard your entire conversation 10 minutes ago. I am highly offended! I cannot believe that word came out of your mouth so many times and so easily. How dare you! This is a huge problem... you better be glad I'm working right now and I'm as professional as I am! You are not welcome here anymore!"

He sat there like he had just seen a ghost. I was trembling and shaking. I walked away & gathered myself. I made sure they had perfect service the rest of the evening.  I didn't say a word to them. My body language said enough.

They left. Tipped me $10 on $90. I didn't want their money! I wanted them out!!!!

This is not the first time I have experienced something like this and probably won't be the last. It saddens me how people can still be so ignorant. 

I will continue to grow as a person. I will continue to raise my children right. And most importantly I will continue to stand up for what I believe in and that is everyone should be created equal, EVERYONE! 

So I leave you with this...

"Racism is still with us. But it is up to us to prepare our children for what they have to meet, and, hopefully, we shall overcome." -Rosa Parks